:: We live by Allah’s grace....Allah’s Plans ::

Some things are beyond planning.
And life doesn’t always turn out as planned.
You don’t plan for a broken heart.
You don’t plan for an autistic child.
You don’t plan for spinsterhood.

You plan to be young forever.
You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful.
You plan to be acclaimed and successful.
You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don’t plan to be sad.
You don’t plan to be hurt.
You don’t plan to be broke.
You don’t plan to be betrayed.
You don’t plan to be alone in this world.
You plan to be happy.
You don’t plan to be shattered .

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want. But MOST times, what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan. But so does Allah (SWT) in the heavens. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand Allah’s plans especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours .

Often, when He sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. True, we cannot choose what Allah wishes us to carry, but we can carry it with courage knowing that He will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with .

Sometimes, Allah breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, He allows pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, Allah sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes, He allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
And sometimes, Allah takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us

Make plans, but understand that we live by Allah’s grace.
Although they plan, Allah also plans. And Allah is the Best of Planners. [Holy Qur'an 8:30]

:: back to work ::

I'm back to work on 22 Oct tp tak berkesempatan langsung nak update blog.
I am stressed..hummp..humpp.. nak berenti keje bole ke??

:: 23 Aug 2007 (Thursday) 11.45 a.m ::

Terima kasih buat teman2 semua, rakan sekerja, kaum keluarga yg sudi menziarahi kami sekeluarga. Ucapan takziah tak henti2 kami terima. I really appreciate it..

Terima kasih x terhingga buat HB for his courage, support during those days. Walaupun aku tau HB juga sedih atas pemergian arwah tp sebagai ketua keluarga, HB perlu kuat hadapi semua ini.

Terima kasih buat Izzul kerana sudi menjadi peneman mummy saat mummy kehilangan adik..

Walaupun air mata ini menjadi peneman setiap hari sebelum aku melelapkan mata tapi aku harus redha atas ketentuan Allah. Semoga 'Muhammad' (biarlah aku simpan nama yg telah aku fikirkan untuk arwah) mampu membantu aku dan HB di akhirat kelak.

"Ya Allah, kurniakanlah kepadaku pahala di atas kedukaan yang ditimpa ke atasku dan gantikanlah dengan yang lebih baik daripadanya.. Amin ya rabbal a'lamin"

Allah tidak akan memberi musibah kepada hambanya melainkan Dia merasa hambanya mampu menerima musibah itu... Insyaallah..

:: azam ::

Nasihat seorang teman membuatkan ku berfikir panjang. Ada kebenaran diatas kata-katanya. Perlukah aku berubah menjadi seorang sahabat baik dlm hidupNya? Insyallah, I will. Tenkiu my fren..

Sambungan kepada trip ke Sabah..bought myself 1 bracelet, 2 brooch (mutiara lagi..dok tau la dasar laut ke tengah laut ke) kristal for my mom and mom-in-law.. and udang kering..tue jela yg dapat sebab tgh duk save2 duit untuk rumah kan…Pagi esokknya berjalan kat tepi pantai.. ingat nak gi pulau manukan laa..kaki gunung kinabalu la..tapi tak tercapai sebab takut terlepas flight. So jalan je sekitar kawasan hotel.. bestla jugak..walaupun penat :)

Lately, aku asyik teringat my beloved baby’s attitude..
Bila dengar je iklan syampu ‘Clear’, tetibe je Izzul menjerit ‘ tak adalah’ sambil meniru gaya model iklan tu
Nampak cicak kat dinding je, keluarla ‘Cicakkkmannn’
Iklan kopi Super Power, awal2 lagi dia dah sebut ‘aku nak powerrrr’
selalu nyanyi sambil pegang beg/bakul telur (dapat masa kenduri kawin) ‘balik ampung…oooo..balik ampung..ati ianggg’
aku selalu membetulkan perkataan dia.
My: ‘P.. A.. PA’
Izzul: PA
My: ‘N..A..S… NAS’
Izzul: NAS
My: PANAS
Izzul: AMMASS..
Hmmm…tapi last 2 days, Izzul dah berjaya menyebut PANAS. Another achievement :)

Aku dok terpikir apela azam tahun baru yg bakal datang ni..
Insyallah nak jadi isteri, ibu dan pekerja yg lebih baik insyallah…nak start exercise for my backbone balik and nak baca Quran dengan lebih banyak dr tahun ni.. baru tiga azam ..rasa mcm nak tambah lagi..
Insyallah..moga2 Allah permudahkan segalanya untuk tahun 2007.

:: sabah..here I come ::

Alhamdullillah, buat pertama kalinya menjejakkan kaki ke sabah..when HB mentioned that he wants to bring me together to his trip to KK, I was like jumping up and down (tp cover2, just senyum2 je..hehe), punyalah seronok.. selama 26 tahun hidup, ni la pertama kali ke sabah. TQVM HB - luv ya'. I was so excited siap tanya Ummimon and my officemate yg dah pergi sana, tempat menarik etc.

But due to the very expensive MAS ticket, kami tak bawa my lovely baby together. Sorry ye sayang, nanti kalau Izzul dah besar, dah boleh ingat gi jalan sana-sini, My bawak semula yer.
Is this our second honeymoon??..hmmm.

Flight from KLIA 11.45am 21/11/06 to Kuching (tak dapat flight terus, kene transit ke Kuching then only ke Sabah), kami tak dapat duduk bersama (terlambat check-in). HB at row 10 and myself at row 18. Sampai kat Sabah around 5.30pm, kami stay di Radius International Hotel - hotel baru bukak opposite Le Meridien - concept like boutique hotel.. eventhough the room is quite small but I like the modern concept. Will update the pics later.

Masuk je dlm bilik hotel - dapat access internet free. Mlm nye kami ke night market for our dinner. Bought some chicken wings - wowww..superb and have some seafood - udang, sotong, and ikan kerapu makan 3 org baru RM18.. uwaaa heavennye..
Ingatkan nak tangkap gamba dinner kami - tapi HB tak kasi. Takut tuan kedai tau kami pelancong, kene charge mahal lak..hehe..

22/11/06 - HB awal2 pagi dah bersiap - kene gi visit customer with his few friends from HQ and here I am updating my blog. Mlm ni activity shopping mopping..yeyy..tapi tuela, kene berhemah sikit sebab dah byk spend utk rumah baruku...

Taa...moga2 lepas balik ni ada masa utk update lagi. Takut bersawang balik cam dulu.

::new house::

Balik dr raya, ingatkan nak update blog with all the pics during hari raya. Tetibe my batery camera 'kong' plak, dengan charger sekali rosak..terus takde mood nak update blog.

Well, last week news, finally, I've got my new tv, washing machine and fridge for my new house, bought on J-Card Day Mid Valley. Dr pukul 8.00 pg smpila 10.00 mlm kami berada kat sana... x pernah dibuat org, gaya2 mcm nak borong satu JJ jer...heheh..tp apakan daya, kredit kadku tak mengizinkan. Lepas ni sure pening nak bayar kredit kad nih. On the way back, me and HB tersenyum simpul jek sepanjang jln..yey...

Wed till thurs, outstation to Kedah...nak bawak by ke tak? bawak ke tak?? isk..iskk..

::salam from izzul fadhly::

Assalamualaikum semua,

Muhammad Izzul Fadhly mewakili my dan dy nya..nak ucapkan Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya Aidilfitri kepada semua yg mengenali diri kami dari hari pertama saya dilahirkan sehinggalah nak mencecah umur 2 tahun akhir tahun ni :). Maaf zahir dan batin di pinta kalau saya agak naughty masa jumpe aunty dan uncle. Jangan lupa berhari raya di rumah Izzul nanti ok!! Berhati-hati di jalan raya. Semoga selamat sampai ke kampung masing-masing dan kembali bekerja semula.. Ingat..pesanan terakhir 'Jangan main mercun'. ~ flying kiss, muahz..~

:: ade org tu? ::

HB gone off again, kali ni ke Kuantan, Pahang for 3 days. Masa HB pegi outstation kali ni, Fadhly is not that well, dia kena cirit-birit n muntah2. Kesian sgt tgk dia, and the next day, myself, mom & bibik kene jugak. I’ve got my day off – kononnye bolehla berehat kat rumah, rupanya tak jugak, phone ringing fr 9-5.

Well, as ummimon said, with the 3G technology yg canggih amat skarang ni, I’ve got my handbag for hari raya. Actually HB suruh 3G die to choose a shirt and also sandle for him. Pusing punye pusing dalam Berjaya Mall, Kuantan, he bought me handbag. Tapi yg memilihnya saye ler..thru 3G phone tuh..canggih betul rasenye. Eventhough, for me the bag is quite expensive tapi ada less 50% so it’s a good bargain right..

:: 26 years already ::

Alhamdulillah, syukur ke hadrat illahi kerana masih dipanjangkan umur olehNya. Hari ni genap umur ku 26 tahun. Terasa bersyukur dengan nikmat yg diberikan – kesihatan diri sendiri dan Fadhly yg semakin baik, HB yg penyayang (eventho suke menyakat), kerja yg stabil, keluarga yg sentiasa mendorong, kawan2 yg sentiasa disisi saat susah dan senang. Alhamdulillah..





Heppi bornday too to my kembar a.k.a Ika. Moga kita sama2 memperbaiki diri dalam mendapat keredhaannya. Thanx to HB and thanx to my bessfren Effi for the iftar at buffet San Francisco Steakhouse – sedapp.. amat disarankan pada sesiapa yg suke western food. Makan takla banyak mana tapi adala kambing sket. The next day terus tumbang, tak boleh bangun langsung dr katil for one whole day – sakit sgt kepala. Kononya, dinner tue HB blanje, cewah punyelah berbunge2 hati..tup2 mase nak byr, HB keluarla credit card dia, a few min after, cashier dtg balik – card reject. Keluar pulak kad kedua – kad reject lagi. Dengan nada ‘ehem2’ – “zah byr dulu pakai kad zah boleh? Nnt abg bayar balik” ..isk..isk.. spoil je.. hehe
Tula..byk sgt outstation – asyik bayar duit hotel je..tak sedar dah over credit limit.


- me and my bess fren, effi-

:: ?? ::

I miss my HB.. :(

::kurma ke coklat??::

Looks familiar?? Inilah die kurma gift for corporate customer from T*. Get 3 boxes untuk diberi kepada bank2 ~ yg buat baik dgn aku je dapat.. yg tak baik, tak bagi..heheh, tadelah.. well, since bank ramai non-Muslim, so dapatlah kurma ni pada ‘tiger bank’. Well, masa nak dapat box tu puaslah dok pujuk kat bos... nak satu..sebab suke tgk box dia, lawa.. bos boleh jawab ‘kalau you nak, gi beli kat pasar malam’

Isk..isk..apela..

Well.. HB sekarang ni in Sibu for 4 days. Semalam, tetibe masa tgh malam, Izzul bangun carik dy nya.. dia terjaga dan terus ke tepi katil ‘Daddy..mana? Daddy mana?’ sedey pulak tgk dia camtu. I told him ‘Daddy gi work’ then terus Izzul baring semula dan peluk aku untuk tido. He’s so attach to HB…anak dy betul. When he woke up in the morning asking the same question. Ala..siannye..

::trip to terengganu::

23- 26 Sept 2006 - went to Terengganu ikut HB outstation. Bring Izzul together with us, hari pertama berpuasa di perantauan. Very tiring – 7 jam dlm perjalanan.

24/09/06
HB awal pagi lagi dah gi keje sebab presentation tu dekat area hampir dgn Kelantan so almost 2 hours to be there. So before 6.30 dah kene gerak dr Grand Continental at KT. Balik around 3 pm, tinggal la kami 2 beranak di bilik hotel. At one time, Izzul mengamuk tak tentu arah dan jerit ‘kai yong, my..kai yong’ I’m quite blur, tatau ape yg dia cakapkan. I called HB – ‘abg, ape by nak ni..die cakap kai yong’ HB also blank and he doesn’t want to talk to HB at all. He cried almost ½ hour until I noticed that he asked me to ‘pakai tudung’ so that he can walk outside the room. ~isk..isk.. nak kene blaja pelat budak lak.

Ptg – went to KT bus station – pick me 2 tudung for hari raya, tudung sarimah, kain batik, and baju raya izzul – quite cheap but luckily we have org t’ganu (azida - opismet HB) tolong cakap ganu.

25/09/06
As usual, sahur at hotel. Bring Izzul to pool.

Ptg – went to Pasar Payang – dapatlah kain sutera for kemeja HB and for me (gold color) – kot2 la nak buat pergi dinner ke ape ke..
Pastu kitorg gi la kat pasar ramadhan utk berbuka di hotel (kuih mmg heaven btul kat sana)– mak aii…mahal gilerr.. maybe because both of us org luar so kene ketuk habis2an, ada ke patut roti bom ada telur RM2.50, nasi putih dgn lauk udang utk sorang mkn RM5.00 – fuh..dasat.. conclusion, kene blaja loghat negri kalau nak gi kat mana2 tpt.. basic pon jadila..

26/09/06
Izzul sekarang ni bertambah2 aktif. Sampai kepenatan my dia kat hotel tu melayan si kecik sorang ni – but I am happy with his progress.

Went back to KL around 4.00 p.m. sempat la memborong kopok smpi 5 kg (boleh buat stok sampai raya..hehe), by the time buka..baru nak masuk ke karak highway, so berbuka la kami di tepi jalan, sibbaik mak azida ada bekalkan mee goreng.

Sampai KL dlm kul 12, esok nak keje ke?? Nak urgent?? Penat x hilang ni?? Hmmm..

:: manje ke?::

Boring btul skang ni kat ofis.. not because of takde keje tapi takde teman berborak since sikulat pergi training, kesian kat ummimon.. asyik2 nyibuk kat sebelah dia cakap boring.
Lately HB asyik outstation - last week he went to Kuching, this week ke Penang & Perak and next week to Terengganu. Mid of bulan puasa - kene ke Sabah pulak. Sedeynye... especially during puasa. I can't stand to drive in traffic jammed and buka puasa dlm kete sensorg.
Everytime HB cakap je dia nak gi somewhere, mukaku dah start monyok..ala itu.. ala ini.. . Pastu HB terus menyampuk 'ee.. camne la kalau abg dah takde, manja betul'. Aku pun dok terpikir balik..am I? Maybe la kot. When i think of my colleague (opismet sebelah meja tapi lain cubic), terpikir jugak mcm mana la dia boleh tahan HB dia gi overseas berbulan2. When i told my frenz at the office, their comment ' tu still duduk dgn mak..kalau duduk rumah sendiri nanti macam mana?' Hmmm, btul jugak. I have to be independent 'sikit' tapi x la semuanyakan. Sometimes, we need to rely on our HB. Betul tak? Nasik baik ada sikecik sorang ni.. bile nak berdua?? Hmm..next year BP.


menunggu time tdo bersama my

:: bored..bored..really bored.. ::

Bored day... a lot of customers complaint need to settle. System in '...' always hv errors. End up those who manage the customers will face all the 'nice words' from them.

Ok, stop complaining. Now, HB and me in the midst of surveying, eyeing, and many...ing for our 'home sweet home' in Kajang. Insyallah tiada aral melintang, we are going to move end of the year. Well, went to IKEA quite long time ago, take pic nak dijadikan 'nur' for the house. Just do a very rough calculation for the house, waaa..byknye kene pakai duit..cukup ke? ke kene buat loan? tapela.. nnt difikirkan mcm mane.


Just to share some tips for healthy lifestyle (to remind myself also):
S - sleep ~make sure that you get enough sleep of 6-8 hrs per day (bukan tdo2 ayam ek.. mak2 budak susah la sket..hehe)
E - eat ~3 main meals and must be the healthy one la..jgn asyik ayam, daging je tetiap hari
E - exercise ~at least 15 minutes per day.. lepas smayang subuh ke.. buat le kejap. Now, my office start dah dgn exercise stretching every Mon, Wed n Fri. Dapatlah 45 min/week, okla kan.
D - drink ~not less than 8 glass per day. plain water ya.. not wth sugar.
S - supplement ~any supplement e.g. multivitamin ke..


Izzul's progress ~very good, recover very fast tp manjenye yg amat skang nih. Everyday mesti bawak at least two rounds naik motor. That is a must.

:: in the hospital ::

Dah lama x update blog..x berkesempatan. Just to share our memory during those days in IJN. Lama tersimpan dalam draft..tak sempat je nak sambung..hehe

12 May 2006 - 14 May 2006
Kami sekeluarga, my family & HB family ke Kuching, Sarawak for holiday. Seronok dapat berjalan2 especially shopping @ Sariken. Punyala banyak barang beli sampai excess luggage masa nak balik.

15 May 2006
Aku ambil cuti sebab masih penat kembali dr Kuching on 14th. HB dah start bekerja cause ada something yg dia perlu settlekan. 10.3o a.m: Received call dr IJN, nak bercakap dengan mak Muhammad Izzul Fadhly. Admin from IJN minta Izzul datang admit to IJN petang tu juga. Aku terus call HB dengan perasaan berdebar, terkejut sebab tiba2 je admin suruh dtg. Sepatutnya kami jumpa dulu dengan surgeon IJN on 16 May 2006. HB balik dr office and we immediately packed Izzul's clothes and admit ptg tu around 3.00 p.m. We thought nak jumpe surgeon and try to delay the surgery. Masa sampai di IJN, jumpe officemate HB, ayah die will undergo bypass on 18 May 2006. Borak2 dgn mak kawan HB tu, dia suruh aku proceed and jgn delay, takut later risk lebih tinggi. Masuk je wad, kami diarahkan pergi jumpe dgn a few doc at paed wad, the surgery will be held tomorrow morning at 8.00 a.m. First case utk esok. Doc tu sume bgtau klu delay, the risk wld be higher and will impact other things ~injap, salur darah etc. So aku redha sgt masa tu. Since terima call dr hospital sampai la ke tgh malam, aku cuba sedaya upaya utk tidak menitik kan air mata walau setitis pun.

Back to masa umur Izzul 1 month, both of us went to our fav doc kat klinik dekat dgn umah for his first immunisation. Masa tgh cek2 dada Izzul, tetibe je muka Dr Azlina lain macam & she mentioned that ada something wrong dgn bunyi kat jantung (murmur sound) and terus referkan to specialist. Aku still dalam pantang masa tu (baru sebulan la katekan) and all the way back aku nangis dlm kete. Teramat sedih. Terasa dugaan yg menimpa aku terlalu hebat. Masa tu kaki Izzul pun ada problem and in casting. Tapi ada something yg HB cakap yg buat aku kembali kuat "Zah, jgnlah sedih sgt. Kalau zah x kuat macam mana Izzul nak kuat" and I hold to it until that night.

16 May 2006
Izzul dah start berpuasa dpd pukul 12.00 tgh malam. Kami cuba boleh bg dia air ribena smpi pkl 5.00 pg and after that x bole masuk apa2 pun. 7.00 a.m, kami dah kena mandikan Izzul dgn special soap yg diberi oleh nurse and pakaikan dia baju utk surgery. Izzul suke je sepjg pagi tu. Cuma agak menyedihkan bila dia ckp "nak air" but we can't give him any water. Simple request mcm tu pun kami x mampu nak tunaikan. HB berjaya pujuk dia dgn berjln2 kat sekitar wad tu. Around 7.45a.m, kami dah menuju ke bilik bedah. Masa tu hanya Allah yg tau, betapa aku menahan sedih dlm hati nih dan dalam masa yg sama, berusaha sedaya upaya utk tdk menangis. Tapi Allah maha kaya dan mengetahui hati seorang ibu dan perempuan tidak sekuat mana. Melangkah je ke dalam bilik bedah, aku terus mengalirkan air mata, tak berhenti. Ada satu lagi pasangan yg anaknya akan undergo surgery first case juga pg tu ~Ain Asyirah. Itula rakan kami sepjg di IJN. Izzul asyik gelak je pagi tuh, walaupun tgk my dan dy dah sedih2, dia tetap gembira. When the sister panggil sorang utk hantar Izzul masuk dalam OT, aku suruh HB masuk sebab aku x sanggup nak tgk keadaan dlm OT. Aku cium pipi dan dahi Izzul dgn penuh kasih sayang dan berdoa agar pembedahan ni akan berjaya. HB melangkah masuk le OT, and I just wait outside. When HB keluar, dia cerita la apa yg berlaku dlm OT, doc tu suruh HB mengucap kat telinga Izzul, dalam masa yg sama dia masukkan ubat bius di tgn and Izzul dah tertidur dgn mata terbuka. Aku hanya mampu menangis..
8.15a.m: Kami menunggu di Bilik Menunggu with HB and mak. Sepanjang di bilik tuh, aku bacakan yassin utk Izzul semoga dipermudahkan segalanya. HB tak renti2 berkumat-kamit mulut membacakan apa shj ayat Quran ~ utk dipermudahkan & juga utk tenangkan hati kami. 11.00a.m: Ibu dan ayah Ain Asyirah (budak yg sama masuk OT dgn Izzul) dah dipanggil ke ICU, bertambah berdebar hati kami, aku dan HB dah tak senang duduk. Bila pula nama kami akan dipanggil. Setiap minit dalam bilik menunggu tu hanya Allah yg tau, mcm mana perasaan kami berdua.
12.15a.m: "Ibu & ayah Muhammad Izzul Fadhly, sila ikut saya" jerit guard kat depan bilik. Terus kami berdua menuju ke ICU. Sampai je di ICU...sekali lagi aku & HB tak dapat nak tahan air mata tgk anak kesayangan kami dari muka hingga ke hujung jari kaki, penuh dgn wayar. Dr Jeswant Singh, surgeon Izzul jumpa kami dan bagitau alhamdulillah semuanya berjaya. Lubang dah berjaya ditutup dengan special cloth cuma post-op perlu berhati2. Izzul need to be in ICU at least 24 hrs to monitor his progress. if everything ok, dia akan masuk ke HDU (high dependency unit) esok. Lega mendengar kata2 surgeon tu. Kami hanya boleh melawat Izzul di ICU pada masa2 tertentu je 12.30 - 1.30 tghr dan 6.00 - 8.00 malam. Tepat 6.00 ptg, aku dan HB tercegat kat depan ICU, menunggu utk masuk. Masuk je, ramai org dekat katil Izzul. Ya Allah, kenapa pulak ni.. doc bertugas panggil Dr Jeswant utk cek condition Izzul. Rupanya heart beat dia tak stable. Sepatutnya dalam 140 tp Izzul's heart rate nak cecah ke 200. Aku dah mula risau. Dr Jeswant came with his cool face and bgtau kami that heart rate Izzul agak x stable, and he will give on medicine to stabilize it. All night, both of us tak lena tdo...

17 May 2006
Menunggu masa utk masuk ICU mmg dinantikan - tak sabar nak tgk macammana keadaan Izzul. Pukul 12.15, kami berdua dah tercegat kat depan reception utk ambil pas. Tepat jam 12.30, semua parents yg menunggu terus menyerbu masuk. Alhamdulillah, he's good and nampak comel sgt Izzul di atas katil. x sampai hati nak kejutkan dia dan bgtau yg we're at his side. Baru je 15 minutes be there, tetiba ada emergency with another patient. So kami semua diarahkan keluar and can only see our beloved son at 6.00 p.m. Ptg, melangkah masuk ke ICU, dr jauh nampak so many nurses keliling Izzul pegang drip water, pegang wayar etc. Hati dah mula berdebar balik. Sampai je kat katil Izzul, nurse: "ok, kita dah boleh bawak Izzul naik ke HDU" *HDU-high dependency unit. Alhamdulillah..syukur. Sepjg mlm kami menghabiskan masa dgn Izzul. Syukur sgt dan gembira dapat tgk muka anak depan mata. Mlm - Doc Choo (on call doc) dtg cek Izzul. When he checked, air yg keluar lebih byk dr air yg masuk so terus masukkan another drip bottle. Dr Choo also tried to reduce the amount of morphine for his heart rate, suddenly terus naik 160 - terus x jadi nak naikkan. Izzul can only drink his milk through tubes. Everytime, dia bangun "nak air..nak air". Sedeynye dengar suara dia minta air. Tak sampai hati..at last, aku celupkan pacifier dia dalam air masak and terus masuk dlm mulut so that ada la sikit2 amt of water dlm mulut dia.

18 May 2006
I know that Izzul rasa tak selesa with all the wires at his body. Berselirat. Alhamdulillah..he's stable and nurse dah tanggalkan wayar morphine - ubat tahan sakit. Nurse did suction to Izzul, alhamdulillah he's ok..takde kahak and after this no need to that anymore. but still kesian jugak coz wlpun sikit tp berdarah2 tekak Izzul. He still dizzy until mid-night. Nurse dah allow me too feed him through bottle for 2 oz every 3 hrs. at least Izzul rasa puas sket. Nurse dah cabutkan tiub mknn and reduce amt of oxygen. Mlm - urine Izzul ada darah, nurse pun dah a bit worry. Aku lg la.. tp still need to wait until doc check tmorrow mrng. All nights, Izzul nangis. HB takde, tdo kat surau - only one person yg bole jaga. I'm really helpless..tatau nak buat mcm mana. "Sakit sgt ye sayang - baru off ubat tuh". Pujuk sume dia tanak. Nak dukung tak bole. Wayar here and there. So all night juga la aku tak tido smpi HB dtg tuka shift d next morning.

19 May 2006
Nurse datang buat dressing. He cried - I think not because of pain but more on afraid to all the nurses yg pakai baju hijau. But masa dia cuci tu, I'm quite surprised to see ada needle terlekat mcm tu je kat kulit Izzul. Biar benar doc ni. Dr Asri came to check - he's stable tp not sure because of the medicine or mmg himself. So need to wait till tomorrow.
- Dah tanggal oxygen and needle at his left hand.
- Dah boleh makan buah and bubur
- Dah boleh tersenyum and berborak with us

20 May 2006
Progress ok. Drain darah masih banyak. ECG ok. Ptg- pindah ke wad biasa di sebelah HDU.
- Dah cabut jarum heart rate. Alhamdulillah, semua ok.

21 May 2006
Dah start boleh bermain. Makan biskut, air soya.
We moved to first class room. Lega sgt rasenye cause dah start back pain.
And ada 2 katil so bolehlah HB tido skali. Bole gilir2..
All wire dah cabut exp for his drain.

22 May 2006
Pg - Nurse cabutkan drain Izzul. That was the most part yg sakit. I've experienced it so I know.
Melalak sekuat hati but once HB dukung je dia, terus dia senyap.
Nothing much. Izzul progressively become active. Asyik nak main ball. And he bullied both of us. Dia campak ball tuh merata2 dalam bilik and asked us to picked it up. Fuhh..letey but I'm satisfied..rather than tgk dia terlantar atas katil..biarlah buli kitorg.

23 May 2006
Izzul dah dibenarkan keluar cuma nurse advise us to be very particular at home. Takut infection etc. I will...

Thanx to all the docs, nurses, families, friends, officemate who came to support us. Hanya Allah yg boleh membalas jasa korang sume. Luv ya all.. muahz'

Heard on of the nasyid song in TV ~ "Ujian adalah tarbiah dr Allah. Apakah kita kan sabar ataupun sebaliknya..."
Izzul Fadhly ~ anugerah yg tidak ternilai dr Allah.. luv ya so much sayang.. thanx to HB for your support.

:: doakan kami ::

My lovely baby, Fadhly going to undergo surgery VSD at IJN. Eventhough the hole in the heart is just medium but doc still suggested that he undergo that surgery. Insyallah admitted on this coming Tuesday 160506 tp depends on his health and condition during that time to determine when the surgery going to be held either that week or the coming week.

Hopefully all bloggers can doakan kami sekeluarga to be strong and the surgery successful as what we wish for… insyallah.
Tak boleh nak cakap lebih2.. nanti sedey..

:: x perlu ungkapan ::

Yesterday was a memorable day to me 100506~ hadiah paling berharga from my lovely HB for mother's day celebration.

Sifat perempuan ~ suka dimanjakan and suka sangat bila orang yg disayangi mengucapkan kata sayang pada dirinya. So do I.. and frequently I asked HB whether he loves me or not.. and the answer is no (dengan sengih2 mcm kerang busuk) and yesterday also I asked the same thing and this time he asked me back the same question and immediately I answered 'yess'. Then I asked him back what he Q me and the answer is " Nak tau tak, masa backbone surgery dulu, zah keluar lambat sgt dpd operation room, dah lebih dpd masa yg ditetapkan oleh doc. Sepatutnya habis pukul 2 tp sampai pukul 4, zah tak keluar..abg menangis tau masa tunggu zah tu. Takut kalau jadi ape2.. tak tau la." ..and I cried upon hearing that statement..
And HB sambung.." kalau sayang, die x perlu cakap.. akan tau sendiri whether org tu sayang ke tak kat kita"

Thanx you so much ... terharu biru ..

:: money oh money ::

In just 2 days, I spent almost RM 2k for my items in the list - eventhough the list is quite long but I am able two strike out 2 things. Though it is not really important but I am quite satisfied with it.

Me and HB went to Pertama to buy Nokia 3G phone to replace my existing Sony Ericsson K700i. We are eyeing at 6280, AP. If original, cannot afford la.. too expensive. Arrived at Pertama Complex around 8.30p.m, after one round we able to see one shop (dah nak tutup kedai dah pun) displayed new 6280. So after negotiated with them, we able to get RM 1350 with 512 k card. good bargain.. so balik pun dengan tersenyum2 simpul..sebab dapat phone baru.. yessslah.. with my 3G phone, at least I can track where my HB is??? heheh...no la.. I trust him.

The next day, I had training at Maju Junction, TH Perdana building. As we able to finish early, me and my colleagues went to Sogo for shopping.. on the way to Sogo, we stopped by at Pertama again and directly go to one shop named Pusat Kacamata Great Eastern. So adela Lela, Merlin, Fazah & Kak Miah commented on my specs... to makeover myself. Jenuhla bargain but still cannot get my ceiling price which is RM350..kedekut betul 'leng chai' tu.. so terpaksalah exceed sikit budget to RM380. Tapela..nak pakai pun lama, so at least dapat lens yg ada quality sikit..

New progress on my beloved 'by':

1. dah byk words that he able to say..though the first word is 'daddy'. anak dy la katekan..
2. words lain.. mummy, ting (puting), pah (opah), babik (bibik), papu (pak su), chantiq (cantik), air, mam (makan), motor, kite, gigi etc...byk jugak la words yg die boleh sebut sendiri..yg lain tu suke menyampuk org cakap adela.. cth.. me: "abg..amikkan botol izzul tuh" Fadhly: "botol". me: "bik, amikkan pampers" Fadhly: pers...
3. able to bunyikan bunyi binatang. Me: "by, ade catt" Fadhly: "nyau..nyau.." Me: "ada dogg" Fadhly: "wuu..woo.wwuu"
4. he able to count whenever he climb the stairs - my ajar one - ten but he only count two, thi, por, chik, aid , ten...yey (yey' tu mesti ada everytime hasib count ~siap dengan angkat tgn ke atas lg) . nombor lain MIA.
5. he able to imitate whatever other people doing - pagi2, bile daddy letak minyak rambut.. dia pun mula la gosok2 rambut die konon macam letak minyak rambut jugak la... bile reramai gelak kat family hall mase tgk tv..tetiba je Fadhly pun gelak..ntah ape yg klaka tah..

:: trip to seri malaysia ipoh ::

Dah lame rasenye tak update blog. Tak berkesempatan langsung klu di office. Today, I'm taking urgent leave sebab risau sgt tgk kesihatan izzul yg tak menentu. Almost one week izzul on fever, flu and cough. Kejap ok kejap tak.. kadang2 terase sedih pulak bile tgk die batuk tak renti2 and this morning for the first time in his life, sayang my ni muntah dengan teruknya, habis baju, cadar katil dipenuhi muntah anak my. Terkejut aku dan HB tgk die mcm tue and bile measure temperature badan die, almost 39o. Disebabkan tak tido sgt, so aku pun amik la urgent leave.. reason mengantuk pun yer jugak..heheh. and because of Izzul's one week fever yg masih tak baik sampai sekarang, last thursday, we bough ear thermometer, brand Braun but I think it's a good investment and very2 easy to use. Nak gune utk mak ayah nye pun bole..sesuai utk seisi keluarga. We bought it at Parkson on Bonuslink day so dapat la 15% discount. RP: 199, kitorg dapat 170. Okla 2 kan..



Ok, back to our trip to seri malaysia ipoh. Actually it is not a family trip but more on company's trip by GITN. They've got training on anti-virus. Since my HB got one room for himself without sharing with anyone, I'm invited also to go there. Start course on Thursday. Memule pergi tu aku tak ikut sebab Friday got something elso to be done. So on Friday night, suppose HB coming back by bus express from Gopeng on 8.30 p.m. But until 11.00 p.m, the bus still didn't arrived. Pity him tapi nasib baik la HB tak mengamuk dekat company tuh sebab tipu die. Rupanya yg dia bg tu bas tambahan. So gerak from Gopeng around 11.00, HB sit alone in the bus ~dgn harapan yessla..bole tido dgn nyenyak but few minutes after, bus tu stop kat perhentian mane tah and one big indian guy naik and duduk sebelah HB so my lovely HB pun tak dapatla duduk dgn selesa sebab sebelah punggung je bole masuk, lain conquered by that guy. Sampai kat KL, HB stop at Restoran Jenjantas Sg Buloh and asked me to pick him up. Mase tue dah 2.00 pg. Aku pun dgn mamai nye bangun and terus drive nak masuk ke highway. Punyelah nak dijadikan cerita aku boleh tersalah masuk lane and terus menuju ke arah Utara, supposenyer ke arah KL. Disebabkan kemamaian aku tue, terpaksala keluar to the nearest exit, Rawang which was around 8 km dari Restoran Jejantas tu. Turn back and pick him up so sampai rumah dah dekat pukul 4 pg. The next day pepagi bute dah kene drive back to Ipoh cause the workshop started at 9.00 am. Punyelah mengantuk + penat tak ingatnye. Actually aku dah ade aim pegi ke Ipoh tue sebab nak beli blaus yg murah2 kat area Tambun. Sikulat la yg cerita psl blaus ni, so aku pun teruja la..heheh..evil dah bertanduk..nafsu je lebey.. nak guna duit bonus. So I told HB, and he agreed to bring me. Tup..tup HB tak bole nak tinggalkan klas die and he asked me to go with his friend. Isk..takkan la aku nak drive membute je kat Ipoh ni, dah le tatau jalan and yet to bring Izzul together dengan demam nye budak tu. Sian kat Izzul. Tapi disebabkan oleh nafsu yg nak..nak.. dan nak jugak beli blaus.. aku pun tye jalan sket2 kat kengkwn die dan memberanikan diri pergi jugak. Horror jugak la.. but at the end, sampai juga ke pasar pagi that being mentioned by sikulat. Lama gak membelek and pick 3 blaus and going back to Seri M'sia. Sebenarnya ada lagi satu kedai that I supposed to go tapi disebabkan kesian tgk Izzul yg dah kepanasan, so matikan je la niat tu..
So just to reward nyself sebab berjaya berjalan sorang2 drive kete kat tempat asing..fuh... nasib baik tak jadi pape.

:: 7 weird habits?? or just habits?? ::

Puas dan jenuh dah memikirkan apela weird habit ku...day by day keep thinking bout it
and unable to wait anymore cause still can't reach to 7, so Pn Wah, here I am:

1. suke kerut2 kan dahi without any reason.. notice mase my colleague tegur mase lecture di MMU Melaka, dia pun confuse nape la budak nih asyik berkerut je.. Now, Fadhly seems to hv my habit. Puehla kitorg dok urut2 kening die kasik jgn kerut, still jugak.. sampai org cakap muke anak 'my' ni garang.
2. bace anything start from the back ~ magazine, newpaper. That's the reason why I hate to read novel. selalunya dah tau dah ending die ape.
3. suke sebut 'horrornye'. maulaha je yg tau sebutannya..
4. selalu mengemutkan jari-jari kaki tanpa disedari, realize bila org tegur jugak.
5. selalu angkat kaki letak atas kerusi ~ kat umah, kat ofis, kalau boleh kat mana2 je tapi tgk keadaan jugak la..mcm kat foodcot ke takdela angkat.
6. suke assume org tau ape yg aku pikir kan. contohnya mcm 'korang, bess kan makan kat situ tu' ..'ala..ingat tak mase yg kita pergi sana tu' without continue the sentence so assume someone else can read my mind...huuu..horror..horror..
7. ape lagi ekk?? suke usap2 tgn Fadhly before tdo.. cayang anak 'my'..muahzz

(itu je la kot yg aku bole pk kan..)

thanx to HB for the lovely dinner on 040406 at Sri Ayuthaya, Damansara. luv ya'